Shaped By Community: Navigating Identity and Breaking The Mold with Demetrius T. Gary

September 16, 2026

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“I would encourage folks to listen more. Truly listening to understand, rather than to respond. There is no telling where I would be had my supervisor from grad school dismissed my feelings and observations about my experiences. I also think that her ability to listen was the foundation of this relationship. All three of the supervisors I had in Grad School shared this same skill of listening in three unique ways. Listening allows one to hear about other peoples experiences, and can cause one to look inward on adjustments that may need to be made in one’s personal journey.”

–Demetrius T. Gary

Demetrius T. Gary describes the impact moving from a multilingual, multiracial middle school experience to a rural, mostly white high school where he was the only Black person had on his racial identity development. He shares his experiences with assimilation, what led him to view code switching as an asset, and how that unforgettable transition helped him realize there isn’t any one way to be Black.

Demetrius also tells the story of how disorienting it was to be the only Black student in his grad school cohort, and how having affirming supervision helped convert experiences of alienation into agency, including a supervisor whose attentive inquiry validated his experiences with racist dynamics at work; experiences that continue to inform his “why” for working in university housing, his approach to coaching, the ethics of supervision, and the value of deliberate, affirming leadership that deliberately chooses to face race instead of ignoring it.

This Personal Journeys segment includes:

Why Demetrius stays in housing as a student affairs professional to intentionally occupy institutional space, advocate for Black professionals, and ensure students receive culturally responsive care and representation.
The importance of practicing coaching and supervision rather than paternalistic mentorship, cultivating leadership through empowerment, reflection, and shared accountability.
Demetrius’s explanation of code switching as a pragmatic tool for navigating systemic barriers while aspiring for authentic inclusion across contexts.
We observe students in their most vulnerable and authentic moments, which compels me to design inclusive residential experiences and supportive campus practices.
Concerns about political attacks on diversity, equity, and inclusion work and the threats they pose to professional livelihoods and the essential student support systems that ensure access.
The value of storytelling and inviting others to share their origin stories so we can better listen, learn, and work together to advance equity in our institutions.
The need to intentionally amplify Black artists and cultural representation because visibility cultivates possibility for future creators, scholars, and institutional leaders.

Meet Demetrius

Demetrius Gary (He/Him/His), native of Columbus, Ohio earned a Bachelor’s Science of Business Administration Marketing at Oakland University (Rochester, MI) and a Master’s Degree from Texas Tech University (Lubbock, Texas). He currently serves as an Associate Director of Residence Education in Michigan Housing at the University of Michigan.

Demetrius has served in leadership positions within NASPA (Black Diaspora Knowledge Community Co-Chair), as well as GLACUHO (Contemporary Issues Chair, Inclusion and Equity Committee Member). Demetrius values mentorship and holds space for professional staff and students to utilize him as a mentor and/or coach. Demetrius keeps himself versed in topics related to social justice, leadership, organizational culture and student learning, while also actively role modeling work life integration and self-care practices for his colleagues and students.

Demetrius’ outside interests include tennis, WNBA, volleyball, entertainment, Black history and culture, and is a self-proclaimed “Pop Culture Enthusiast.” Demetrius actively seeks opportunities to allow his passion for social justice to intersect with his passion for entertainment. When he’s not working you can probably find Demetrius at the movies, Massage Envy, or Crunch Fitness.

More from Demetrius

My first year of grad school was tough for me socially. There weren’t any other Black graduate assistants in my department. People were nice, but socially, we had different interests. During recruitment season we hired a high volume of Black graduate assistants and full time staff.

There were microaggressions which occurred during our Staff Retreat. Most of the Black folk ended up riding in the same van as we travelled to our retreat location. Comments were made. In one of the first 1:1’s following our retreat, I shared my thoughts with my supervisor. I told her that I could map out a seating chart where folks would sit during our next all staff meeting, and how these comments hadn’t been made prior. After the staff meeting, she came to me and said that she got it. This was one of the first experiences where I felt supported around identity in the workplace, and while I was a grad, it felt refreshing to be seen and heard.

Over the years I have always found ways to include social justice into my supervision. As a leader within my department, I am really focused on making sure that folks feel included. I am constantly talking about psychological safety with my team, so that our mid level managers are equipped with the skills and resources to also make their team members feel psychologically safe.

As a Higher Education Professional, I know that one of my purposes in being here is to challenge and debunk toxic traits of individuals working in housing. While I may be a seasoned professional, I genuinely understand the “old way of thinking,” and see the value in the “new way of thinking.” There is duality in many things, and there is value in some of the old ways things have been done, however, there is a lot of opportunities in the new ways that younger professionals want things to be done.

I have had amazing supervisors along my career journey. I have learned something from each of them. Unlike many Housing Professionals, most of my professional career has been spent at one institution. I am so grateful for my time at the University of Illinois. There a few lows, that come with learning, but the highs outweigh the lows. I worked with so many individuals who prioritized social justice, and had a passion for the work. Some of those folks have gone on to do bigger and better things in the world of social justice. These are individuals who helped me to hone my skillset in the areas related to inclusion.

Working in housing at this point in my career is something that I have struggled with at one point. As a young Black grad student, and entry level professional, I was constantly told to get into housing, but then to get out, to avoid being stuck in it. I’ve since come to learn that I really do enjoy this work.

Additionally, in my pursuit of leadership, I am able to serve as a voice for not only Black students, but all students who come from historically excluded populations. At the same time, this is something that I’m constantly aware of. Codeswitching is another example. In the workplace we want people to show up authentically, but I’ve questioned, what that would look like for me. It’s still something that I’m mindful of and working towards, but I feel much better about it now.