Unpacking the Box of Shame with Arc Telos Saint Amour

November 26, 2024

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This episode comes with a content warning for discussions about sexual and physical violence which may be distressing or triggering for some listeners. If you or someone you know has been affected by sexual violence, it’s not your fault. You are not alone. If you need support, help is available 24/7 through the National Sexual Assault Hotline: 800-656-HOPE and hotline.rainn.org/online. The Trevor Project’s trained counselors are available 24/7 at 1-866-488-7386 via chat www.TheTrevorProject.org/Get-Help, or by texting START to 678-678.

“It’s important to try, it’s important to educate yourself, but it’s more important what you do with that education, how it shapes and molds your actions, it is important to judge in healthy ways that force you to stand up for your beliefs, draw healthy boundaries, and not be silent around injustice, but it’s also important to do the opposite and see that any one of us is capable of doing truly horrible things if given time, the right (or wrong) environment and circumstances, etc.

–Arc Telos Saint Amour

Arc Telos “Tay” Saint Amour (they/them) shares the roots of their social justice origin story, discussing experiences including the impact of childhood abuse, violence, abandonment, and systemic oppression on them as a trans, queer, and neurodivergent person. In connecting how their earlier experiences informed their approach to activism for social justice, Tay also explores the role of shame in preventing social progress and growth at the individual, institutional, and societal levels.

Tay calls for us all to engage in the work of being honest with ourselves, critical of ourselves and our systems; highlighting the importance of storytelling in driving social justice and the importance of introspection and openness in creating a more equitable world. They also urge listeners to truthfully engage with their own stories and to consider future generations in their actions.

Meet Arc Telos Saint Amour

Arc Telos “Tay” Saint Amour (they/them) is a neurodivergent, autistic, queer and trans, Two-Spirit, gender non-conforming person of Mexican Indigenous descent (Coahuiltecan), and a victim/survivor of childhood abandonment, trauma, and abuse. This lived and living experience has led them to a deep belief in Native Indigenous animism, radical empathy, and the power of holistic affirmation and self-agency.

Professionally, Arc Telos spent over ten years as a business developer opening start-ups and working with established organizations to expand into new territories all over the US. Following this, Arc Telos spent another ten years active in the non-profit field, working with organizations through-out Chicago, New York, Vermont, California, and Michigan centering Justice, Equity, Diversity, and Inclusion (JEDI) practices and using trauma-informed and intersectionality based frameworks. They are currently a national speaker / presenter, the Executive Director of Youth MOVE National, and the owner / founder of Arc Telos Consulting.

Telos is of course more than just their career and identities. They are deeply passionate about all genres of music, documentaries, hiking and other outdoor adventures (in which they are infamous for achieving minor injuries and the loss of shoes), absolutely refusing to be anyone other than Princess Peach in Mario Kart or Mario Party, and consider themselves to be within the top 100 of all time high context ramblers that has an opinion on just about anything and everything. They enjoy tending to the land (and infamous trail) in which they live with their partner, three kids, two pets, and Tally the Roomba.

Ways to Connect

Connect with Tay on LinkedIn
Visit Arc Telos Consulting
Learn about the work of Youth Move National

What You’ll Learn in this Episode

00:00 Content Warning and Introduction
00:41 The Power of Shame
06:36 Social Justice Origin Stories
07:45 Introducing Tay Saint Amour
08:29 Tay’s Background and Identities
10:51 Early Activations and Challenges
19:58 Violence and Abandonment
36:22 Navigating Social Justice Work
53:28 Confronting Personal Shame
55:00 The Power of Storytelling
55:48 America’s Shame Box
57:12 Influences and Inspirations
59:04 Identity and Realization
01:02:58 High School Struggles
01:07:49 Positive Role Models
01:14:29 Privilege and Perspective
01:21:52 Navigating Systemic Challenges
01:30:52 The Weight of Shame and Storytelling
01:31:34 Navigating Personal Boundaries and Capacity
01:33:18 The Complex Relationship with Rest and Trust
01:36:00 Resilience and Systemic Oppression
01:37:56 Capitalism and the Burden of Self-Care
01:41:41 The Consulting Dilemma
01:45:07 The Insidious Nature of Capitalism
01:50:31 The Power of Storytelling
02:04:05 A Call to Action for Future Generations
02:07:15 Closing Remarks and Call to Support

Name Drops, References, and Resources from Tay

Relando Thompkins-Jones, Dr. Jennrich, adrienne maree brown, Tommy Orange, Dr. Derald Wing Sue, Dr. Kimberle Crenshaw, Rev. Dr. MLK Jr., Dr. Eli Green, Shayn McDonald, Victoria Eckhart, all my friends and family and colleagues, etc.